The Virginia Tech Show, 1974

				--CONFIDENTIAL--
		PEP BAND SHOW - VPI - 10/19/74 - THIRD VERSION

ANNOUNCER: The following program has been edited for football audiences by
University officials.  It now bears the rating PG -- parental guidance
suggested.  If explicit, satirical material offends you, go buy a hotdog.

	At signal, band runs onto field from endzone, gobbling.

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen -- Presenting the Swift's Butterball
Thanksgiving Memorial Precision Marching Turkey Band -- Earl Butz,
Secretary; Colonel Harland Sanders, Drumstick Major.

[Drum major dressed as Harland Sanders with large drumstick baton.  Fried
chicken was tossed to crowd preceding the halftime.]

	MUSIC: Bugler's Dream, as band marches downfield.
	GUNSHOT: Band scrambles into #1: H.

ANNOUNCER: For the benefit of those fans who failed to note that RUSH
changed into LUSH last week, the band is pleased to provide cue cards for
today's formations.  --  Today's letter of the week, courtesy of Sesame
Street, honors those High University Officials who felt that the original
script for this formation was more derogatory than clever.

	MUSIC: Hail to the Chief

ANNOUNCER: Band, could you please turn the H around?  The Tech fans say they
can't read it.

	GUNSHOT: Band jumps in unison.  Drum Major runs to other side.

ANNOUNCER: Sorry, band; the Tech fans say they still can't read it.  --  We are
pleased that Tech's new civilized band, the Marching Virginians, is able to be
with us today.  We regret Tech's world-famous military band, the Highty
Tighties, could not also be with us; but as you all know, it's harvest time in
Blacksburg.

	MUSIC: Shine On Harvest Moon
	GUNSHOT: Band scrambles into #3: giant turkey feet.

ANNOUNCER: We note with sadness that both the Mounted Cavalier and Cy the
Wonder Dog have been banished from the Scott Stadium Astroturf this year
lest they commit any social indiscretions.  Nevertheless, the Athletic
Department was unable to prevent VPI from bringing it's *special* mascot
into Scott Stadium -- after all, how do you stop a 700 foot tall invisible
turkey?

	MUSIC: Turkey in the Straw
	Drum cadence as bands scrambles into Field Block Center Formation.  Drum
Rolloff into:
	MUSIC: Down the Field
	Band marches towards endzone, forms 'HOOS during break strain, marches
back upfield.

[Show terminated here due to unforseen circumstances.]

ANNOUNCER: For an autographed copy of the original, unexpurgated script for
today's show, send twenty-five cents in coin and a large, self-addressed
stamped envelope to: PEP BAND, OLD CABELL HALL.  That's PEP BAND, OLD
CABELL HALL.  Thank you.