The Carolina Away Show, 1974

				--TOP SECRET--
		PEP BAND SHOW - at UNC - 11/2/74 - Version #3

[Prior to halftime, band distributes bananas to crowd.  Drum major uses inflate
Chiquita Banana for baton.]

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and Gentlemen -- Here's what you've all been waiting for.
Presenting the premiere performance of its Triumphant Southern Concert Tour --
The New & Improved, Award-winning University of Virginia Fighting Cavaliers
Indoor/Outdoor, Precision? Marching PEP BAND and Chowder Society-Revue, Unlimited
--  Ferebee Taylor, Director; James Cansler, Head Majorette; James Condie, Foot
Majorette; with bananas courtesy of SERVOMATION; and featuring Sam Ervin as Drum
Major.

	MUSIC: Yes, We Have No Bananas (Band marches down field)
	GUNSHOT: Band scatters into #1: Large Circle

ANNOUNCER: When the band went shopping for lunch at the Pine Room today, it was
astounded by the high price of meat.  It is obvious that India is not the only
place where the cow is sacred.  We now demonstrate what rampant inflation is
doing to the size of the Servomation hamburger.

	MUSIC: I Got Plent O' Nuttin (Circle contracts in size)
	GUNSHOT: Scatter into #2: UNC (with backwards N)

ANNOUNCER:  Excuse me band; one of the letters seems to be backwards.  Could you
turn it around, please?

	(Vertical bars of U exchange places to drum beat.)

ANNOUNCER: Thank you, band.  --  We are pleased to salute UNC for its recent
smashing victory over nationally ranked arch-rival N.C. State -- (pause for
applause) -- In honor of this occasion, the band plays *its* version of the N.C.
State fight song.

	MUSIC: Cassion Song (in descending keys)
	GUNSHOT: Scatter into #3: a Huddled Mass (yearning to be free)
	(CUE CARD: Solid Red)

ANNOUNCER: In this day of tension in international politics, the band urges Uncle
Gerry and His Friends not to lose sight of the free world's biggest problem --
C-r-e-e-p-i-n-g  C-o-m-m-u-n-i-s-m !!!

	MUSIC: Marche Slav (huddled mass creeps forward)
	GUNSHOT: Scatter into #4: atom

ANNOUNCER:  For those of you who failed to appreciate the true significance of
our previous formation -- we try again.  Portraying the might of the atom, the
band leaves little to the imagination as it suggests where our future is leading,
by Chopin's Sonata in B-flat minor, Opus 35.

	MUSIC: Chopin's Funeral March (Sousaphones run around orbits of atom)
	GUNSHOT: Band scatters in all directions

ANNOUNCER: *BOOM!!!*

[Ferebee Taylor, James Cansler, James Condie: UNC officials.  Servomation: UNC
food services.  Pine Room: UNC dining hall.]