Intro: (Four to Five People Marching on Field)
Announcer #1, in distress: "Oh, Dear God! I'm bored to tears by this Marching Band, won't someone save me?"
Announcer #2: "Faster than a leaping building, more powerful than a bird driving a locomotive, able to leap tall bullets in a single bound!"
Announcer #1: "Look, on the field, it's mischeif, it's mayhem..."
(Bang)
Announcer #2: "Iiiiiit's...
(20 members fleshpile marching band, who scramble to spots)
Formation 1: (FRAT)
Announcer: A helpful tip to all our new First Years: When addressing our Greek brethren, remember not to call their fraterinties "frats." If you do so they may ask you, "Would you call you're country a cunt?" Of course the correct answer to this question is, "I would if it were filled with frat-boys!"
Play: "Istanbul"
(Bang)
Flash
Announcer: Flash! What's better than winning gold at the Special Olympics?... Not being retarded. (Bang!)
Formation 2: (GOLD)
Announcer: We'd like to apologize for that last joke, it was disgusting and offensive. On an unrelated note, we'd to congratulate Gordon on his recent victory!
Play: ESPN
(Bang)
Formation 3: (WEED)
Announcer: As many of you know, the Dave Matthews Band performed in Scott Stadium last April. After their show they graciously paid $50,000 to resod the field. (Makes weed smoking noise) Thanks for all the Grass Dave!
(Shoot fire Extinguisher)
Play Trippin' Billies