ShowCo Chairs: James Maxwell (CLAS ’04) and Jim Apple (CLAS ’03)

Intro:

Ann. 1: Oh, oh my God, is that . . . it is! Oh my God, it’s Chandra Levy! Chandra, where have you been?

Ann. 2: I, I don’t know. I’m not sure where I am, but I have “Auld Lang Syne” stuck in my head, I’m not wearing any underwear, and I smell like bourbon. I must have been partying with TAWVFCI/OP(?)MPB&CSR,U!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gimme Some Lovin

Ann. 1: We’d like to welcome any Richmond students to the game today. It did cost them 40 bucks, but it’s the only way they’ll ever get into UVa.

Song

Ann: As many of you know, the Dave Matthews Band performed in Scott Stadium last April. After their show they graciously paid $50,000 to resod the field. The Pep Band would like to thank Dave for providing so much grass after all his weed was removed from the stadium.

Song

Ann: Wait, wait… This just in on the Pep Band news wire: We’ve learned that in an imitation of the 1975 shootings at the University of Texas, a student with a super-soaker has climbed our “Carl T. Smith” clocktower, or as we like to call it, “Stumpy.” Fortunately, he was removed from the tower by a tall man.

Song

Ann: As many of you know, the Pep Band is censored when performing in Scott Stadium. Since we are now outside the stadium, for your education, you should know that the Pep Band cannot discuss these topics:

Alcohol, George W Bush or his former cocaine problem, Marion Berry or his former cocaine problem, the criminal records of any Florida State athletes, the intellectual abilities of our less than urbane neighbors at Virginia Tek, “Stumpy” the clocktower, or any of the following On-Grounds buildings: Cocke, Johnson, Balz, or Woody.

Alternate Intros:

Ann: We’d like to take this opportunity to answer some frequently asked questions from first years: What’s Bourbon? Don’t ask, just consume. Should I drop Acid? No, just take it credit no credit! Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ, who are those people in the End-Zone? It’s TAWVFCI/OP(?)MB&CSRU!!!