ShowCo: James Maxwell (CLAS ’04)

Note to readers: “Elmo” is Scrambling Announcer James Maxwell

Pre-Hoos’ in the Hall Scramble Rally and biscuits!!!

Elmo: Look in the sky! Cheesier than Kraft Cheese and Macaroni, more exciting than Maragret Thatcher naked on a cold day, with more head than your average pint of Guinness, iiiit’s the Award Winning Virginia Fighting Cavalier Indoor/Outdoor Precision Marching Pep Band and Chowder Society Review, Unlimited!!! Yes your favorite band, other than Dave Matthews, will be on hand tonight as the Cavaliers unveil their new, improved, shortened to fit on your TV screen, 2002 Virginia Basketball teams. Gates to Hoos’ in the Hall open at U-Hall at 10:30!

Elmo: So what’re you doing tonight? NEWS FLASH! You must be 21 to imbibe alcohol in the state of Virginia. Since this has obviously ruined your plans, come to U-Hall, for high-flying basketball action at Hoos in the Hall! Gates open tonight at 10:30!!

Elmo: You’re listening to the smooth sounds of the one, the only Award Winning Virginia Fighting Cavalier Indoor/Outdoor Precision Marching Pep Band and Chowder Society Review, Unlimited!!! We know it’s Friday night, so we’ll let you get back to studying as soon as you all promise to come to Hoos in the Hall tonight at 10:30. It’s the rootin’ist, tootin’ist BB-all action since Michael Jordan left the NBA, then came back, then left, then came back again.

Elmo: This is your friendly neighborhood pep band, here to tell you to come to U-Hall tonight at 10:30 for Hoos’ in the Hall. Watch as your nationally ranked Cavaliers try to stop my madd bball skillz. Yo, I love to see the face of the fool tryin to D my slammin moves to the hole. Hoo’s you may be bomb, but I’m still gonna punish ya. Punish ya for bein fool enough to think that you can stop this. You cannot stop this! (Rappin’ Soundz ™ Elmo)

Elmo: Florida State got your football prospects down? Come to U-Hall tonight at 10:30 for Hoos’ in the Hall, to see some mad Kobe Byant razzel-ma-damm as our Basketball team kicks off what is sure to be a stunning season. The first several hundred in the gates get a free T-Shirt. And lemme tell you, if I don’t get a free t-shirt, there’s gonna be hell to pay.

Elmo: As many of you know, the Pep Band is censored when performing in Scott Stadium. Since we are now outside the stadium, for your education, you should know that the Pep Band cannot discuss these topics:

Alcohol, George W Bush or his former cocaine problem, Marion Berry or his former cocaine problem, the criminal records of any Florida State athletes, the intellectual abilities of our less than urbane neighbors at Virginia Tek, my gigantic penis, or any of the following On-Grounds buildings: Cocke, Johnson, Woody or Ballz.

Elmo: (Exiting) Will the owner of a brown wallet containing $735 please report to (place) [(the Tuttle mail room) (the UVa Bookstore) (Bryant Hall) etc. ] Scramble!!!!