ShowCo Chairs: James Maxwell (CLAS ’04) and Jim Apple (CLAS ’03)


FSU Show 10/20/01 - Take 2 ***APPROVED***


Intro:


Announcer: Alright Cavalier Fans, it’s time for the Ten Thousand Dollar Sweepstakes! Turn to page (9) in the Virginia Gameday Programs you received upon entering the stadium. If the number (10) is written on the bottom of this page, you’ve won our first prize of Ten Thousand dollars! If you have a (9) written at the bottom of page (9), then you’ve won our fabulous second prize: A Free Concert from… The Award Winning Virginia Fighting Cavalier Pep Band!


Form: XP


Announcer: OK, so the Pep Band doesn’t actually have ten thousand dollars, but with the release of his new operating system, Windows XP, next week, Bill Gates sure does. Computer users have been promised unsurpassed reliability, an “X-Perience” without the “Blue Screen of Death” from freezing. Unfortunately inside sources have informed us that the blue freeze screen has simply been replaced with a new user-friendly “Beige Screen of Death” featuring Celine Dion’s show stopping “My Heart Will Go On.”


Form: (A Baseball)


Announcer: As baseball continued into the post-season, Americans watched as Barry

Bonds chased Mark McGwire's 70 homeruns. With news of Bonds'

record-breaking 71st homerun, Americans responded with a resounding “Eh,

sure, whatever. Isn’t Survivor 3 on?”


Form: RICH


Announcer: Yes, with the premiere of CBS’s Survivor III: Africa, the pep band has been making Survivor jokes for three seasons. Unfortunately, all the good jokes got voted off the island by the second season, so all we have left is this fat, ugly joke that nobody likes.


Off Field

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FSU Show 10/20/01 **REJECTED**


Intro:


Announcer: Alright Cavalier Fans, it’s time for the Ten Thousand Dollar Sweepstakes! Turn to page (9) in the Virginia Gameday Programs you received upon entering the stadium. If the number (10) is written on the bottom of this page, you’ve won our first prize of Ten Thousand dollars! If you have a (9) written at the bottom of page (9), then you’ve won our fabulous second prize: A Free Concert from… The Award Winning Virginia Fighting Cavalier Pep Band!


Spell: 700


Announcer: Will the owner of a Red, Ford Menace, Florida license plate “S-A-T-7-0-0” (pronounce Seven Hundred) please report to the front gate. Your keys are in the ignition.


Spell: 41-9


Announcer: After Florida State’s recent loss to ACC Football Powerhouse UNC, Virginia Fans are reassured that there is now someone who dislikes Ronald Curry and the UNC Tar-heels just as much as we do.


Spell: FSU


Announcer: The Virginia Pep Band would like to present the Top 10 Reasons to attend Florida State University:

  1. They don’t make you count higher than five.

  1. Alligator soup is served at the dining halls.

  1. Bad grades, no grades, they don’t care about grades!

  1. Florida is the only state where your vote actually matters.

  1. At least it’s not UNC.




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Form: HOVA


Announcer: H to the Iz-O, V to the Iz-Ay? Shizza my Nizza, all the Pep Band has to say is, “Jigga What?”


(Note to Andrew Rader: This is referring to Jay-z’s new song HOVA, during which he says: H to the Iz-O, V to the Iz-Ay. Shizza my Nizza… and in an older song used the phrase Jigga What? This joke references the widespread confusion as to what HOVA is an acronym for: There seems to be a rising consensus that it is Jay-Z’s new self-given nickname.)

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