The year was 1985 and the Mountaineers of West Virginia were coming to visit us here in Charlottesville for a big football game. Our football team probably wasn't ready for this particular matchup, but the Pep Band sure was. We took the field at halftime, under the naive gaze of the television cameras (the networks would soon lose their innocence regarding us), and we put on the infamous "Family Feud" skit.
[Important historical background: At that point in time, as some may recall, the Union Carbide company had suffered just a leedle minor accident at their West Virginia plant: a small toxic gas leak, that really only resulted in a few deaths. But it was enough.]
Our Richard Dawson look-alike took the field, and introduced our two guest families for the show: the Hatfields of West Virginia, and the Fenwicks of Virginia. Pa Hatfield squared off against Bif Fenwick, for the toss-up question. 100 people had been surveyed, and the question was: "Name something you associate with the state of West Virginia." Quick on the buzzer, Pa Hatfield answered "Mountineers" - a correct answer, and the Hatfields elected to play. Ma Hatfield went first:
Our host gave her a quick peck on the cheek, prompting "Well, Ma, what do you associate with the state of West Virginia?"
"Fine edercation?"
BZZZZZ!!
The Band formed a large "X" on the field. "No, nothing for 'Fine education.' Sorry Ma. Uncle Jeb, your turn: name something you associate with the state of West Virginia."
"All the wimmenfolk are big on birth control?" hazarded Jeb Hatfield.
BZZZZZ!!
"Indoor plumbing?" wagered Cousin Zack.
BZZZZZ!!
"Okay, Fenwicks, this is your chance to steal. Bif, give me something you associate with the state of West Virginia." After a brief conference, Bif stepped forward. "Okay, we've got an answer. This will sound tres tacky, but... toxic gas?"
DING, DING, DING, DING!! The Band formed a large 100 on the field. "Yes, 100 out of 100 people surveyed associate 'toxic gas' with the state of West Virginia!" exhorted Dawson.
Different sorts of exhortations were to follow, namely those that came from the governor of West Virginia, the President of WVU, and other such dignified officials. These rankled persons wrote several pointed letters to our governor, University president, and others. Basically it was a big ugly mess, and it resulted in another big ugly mess: the institution of the Pep Band Review Board, a panel of UVa students, faculty, staff, AD officials, and Charlottesville residents, who were henceforth to be the arbiters of Pep Band show material, authorizing every show we've done since - and censoring much of it first.
In fairness, the Review Board has probably kept us out of a great deal of trouble over the years - but they do have an unnerving habit of disappearing every time one of shows is received badly or causes controversy. While the University maintains authority over the content of Pep Band performances, they have proven quite unwilling to take any responsibility for it. Oh, well.